What is in a story?

"There are no scales for our creative acts."

Where did I leave off in this story, well let's see, I believe before I got into some of my obsessions I was on about our culturally induced programming. This topic is vast and personal, we each take in from this programming in differing ways, and yet it has the same essential impact on us all. This programming takes up space and gets in the way of our experience of what is really going on.

I would give here a tale or two to describe a bit of this activity, and yet that would be outside of my function and capacity. I am not here to teach, nor am I able to do so, I am here to tell my tale.

If however you have any interest in how to discern this part of self here is a site that may lead one to a few tools that help in the task. This site offers some interesting approaches at reading a story;

Obsessions, obsessionss oh my lovely obsessions

I have been gone too long and this is due to another obsession I have maintained with a driving passion for over 30 years. This obsession has brought me into worldly pitfalls over and over again; it has been a sweet blessing every time I fall.

This obsession is Music, the writing of, the playing of the listening of, the becoming of…it is difficult to write on this topic, the music itself always speaks for itself.

I have been setting up a BLOG space that is a thank you to all my incredibly creative friends I have been meeting on Myspace I offer the link to the new BLOG site, as a sorry for being intercepted by another of my obsessions…

Obsession

I bring you one more of my newest Obsessions;

Obsession

"An obsession is a joke you play on yourself."

I don't know about you but it has been for me that some things become obsessions. For me it is things like;

Physics

Star gazing,

Magic squares,

Ancient buildings,

Drystone structures,

Alchemical text,

Hubble Space telescope images,

Ancient arts (such as alchemical wood cuts, Illuminated texts)

the list is extensive but in the end all these obsessions are of the same quintessence.

These obsessions always go back to one thing, a longing, and this longing is to be united with my beloved.

I am providing one of my newest favorite obsessions.

Tesseract

Just Beyond Our Grasp

"What I personally find exciting is that we have been programmed to read charts and diagrams as though they actually represented something."

Okay so this may not seem significant to you, and yet this programming is an example of a rather critical matter. This being that for one to experience awakening we need to prepare our being for the many myriad of experiences that are present yet just beyond ones grasp.

One of these is the experience of 0, nothing, silence or the void and we need to do so as calmly as possible. This particular experience as an example is made more difficult because of our unquestioned nearly invisible continuous programming.

Can you experience this void when our common experience has us in a "be a believer state?" Our culture demands we fit in somewhere, somehow no matter what the cost. We are so trained in this that it is nearly impossible to witness a meeting with a new being without finding in our mind a group, class, type, or some sort of category to place this new person into.

One example of how our culture cultivates these phenomena is through the science of psychology. This science is mainly built of theories that use erroneous mathematical calculations [I am currently working on a BLOG for this.] that are used to determine trends, movement, and momentum of existing and developing groups for the populous. Its findings are used to inform of what is going on here. Thus potentially defining and influencing a main portion of our culture?

Dead Prez; Psychology

At any point one can go to a news media and find in it somewhere an article that uses statistical data as its main form of information in molding its idealistic intent in the article. This statistical data may or may not express a level of our existence, yet daily we take this into our lives and use it; as though it is truth.

No argument involved; wow what is an argument?

Who determines the questions that are being asked for these psychological studies that occur?

What is then being said when the term "psychology speaking" is used?

The Fall

The result of my fall effectively caused me to sleep. Sleep in my myriad of thoughts and emotions. This sleep was effectively where I developed my own blemished field. Yet this condition gave me a chance to wake up and choose to study.

Choice; yes I had a choice and daily have this choice.

This choice is and was part of surrender; it compelled me to ask for help from outside of what I believed in idea and what I believed was me. This asking showed that if I asked with my whole being and surrendered to the potential of this asking then all the assistance I needed was there.

This asking began with; I do not know what I am.

The choice was not about how to act or react, but to choose to learn and not in the Worldly sense of learning of indoctrination. This learning with time and patience opened the ability to observe my actions and reactions.

This asking knew that it did not know, and truly could not conceive where it leads.

It took many years before I understood even vaguely that it was possible to observe without judgment of my activities. The possibility of it was brought to light by daily surrender and listening, this listening piloted me into a silence, this silence which brought on a process of experiencing in an observational manner from this silence.

Through this observation I learned of the act of confession and this confession was reporting of my thoughts as they occurred, without judging them; thoughts had their own judgment, since as soon as I had one thought another of the opposite would take its place. When observed and viewed it was apparent that neither was real and no thought that occurred was required to be acted upon.

I eventually came up with [for personal use, yet I share it here for fun] a diagram that gave me a clearer sense of what I was experiencing.

This diagram describes a basic balanced being. With our emotions and thoughts as occurring in a wave or energy dipping into our unconscious and back out again. This dip is an intriguing phenomena, the theory being that one can watch this movement and not react. This process of observing caused these emotions and thoughts to gain a less dramatic swing.

This outcome brings something else into play, because in an observational position one is not affecting, one is viewing; a historical word for this can be to Witness. The "something else" that came into play seemed as if it were observing my activities and affecting the observational intent as an acknowledgment. I was confessing. I was confessing to what?

I say for now to Source.

This witnessing and confessing was going on within me. It was not a witnessing of others, though my activities that brought me into contact with others would stimulate my thoughts and emotions, this stimulating effect was upon me, it was my thoughts and emotions that were to be addressed.

I would like you to remember that this is a story and all stories are a lie.

"What I personally find exciting is that we have been programmed to read charts and diagrams as though they actually represented something."

By the way; this diagram has an entire book attached to it, and it was for me to write. Writing it was a great exercise in balance, since I was most comfortable in a non-linear state of mind the writing of this book required me to be extremely linear, while still observing.

Choice?

If the truth be told the experience of bliss is not over rated and is available in doses in varying ways, yet not attainable through seeking and striving for it.

Also and very important to keep in mind is the experience of bliss is best not considered as a goal nor are any altered states for that matter.

States or experiences that are seemingly outside of the norm, whether they be pleasant or otherwise are potential loss leaders.

"Little Shop of Bliss"

So here you are now in the door of the shop of pleasant toys, and you have had that moment of bliss, this bliss was on sale to all who came in the door. Yet you have not developed in any way, and you have not the understanding of what this is, you have taken no time to learn of your choice.

So what do you do in this situation most often; you do everything you can to get your hands on this bliss thingy again and yet nothing seems to work quite the same.

There are many more shops that will offer this bliss you can go there and check them out for you. Here you get the opportunity to be a consumer of yet another snake oil salesman.

There is however the real teaching available in the world, through clearly choosing and asking for it. This teaching is available to all who seek it.

I want to make one thing perfectly clear, the only potential real difference that exists between you and me;

"I have and do daily make the choice to learn, that's it and nothing more."

Yet I like everyone else live in this world; I do not live on a sparkle bright golden rainbow ridden road, nor in some deep dark fire and brimstone ridden culvert.

It is this world, a place of miracle; existence as an experience is a miracle and we as beings are able to more consciously and do unwittingly participate in this miracle!

Remember this is a story and all stories are a lie.

The conditions of existence are alterable to some degree, yet to desire changes from ones sleeping state brings about more sleep. It is a vicious cycle. With the work this subterfuge can be observed from a place of being that is real; observation of the self as it is while seeing what is occurring externally for what it is.

Did it ever occur to you that you had this choice?

Have you ever asked yourself; what am I?

It makes no difference to me for this is a story and all stories are a lie.

To Digest

I ask that those willing to dare to challenge their constructs and continue with this BLOG to read the manuscript in the link from the last post in its entirety?

If you have then I am willing to move on in this story.

There are things in that manuscript that may help those who are heading for a precipice and those at a precipice far more then this BLOG will ever be able to.

Today I offer two pertinent sweet videos to help in the digestion of yesterdays BLOG.

Einstürzende Neubauten's

BLUME

Stella Maris

Thank you for being!

For a bit of light reading I recommend this fun filled real life drama;

A Confession

By Lev Nikolayevich Tolstoy

You know just like "Reality TV" but in word!!!

OW! What a concept.

If the truth be told the experience of bliss is not over rated and available in doses in varying ways, yet not attainable through seeking and striving for it. However it is always with us as part of the melody of our make up in being.

The little I know of the work begins with thinking and action in testing daily, yet one of these experiments is to ask for guidance, and accepting that there is an Omniscient, Omnipresent, Omnipotent essence that cares immeasurably for All who are here.

I say Test, because I know not, and can only endeavor to know of what is in my own realm of experience.

One thing that has become a useful tool for testing is a sense of humor. It seems one thing that can be lost very quickly, yet its elusive terrain is essential to well being. It helps set a stage for ones ability to see through the daily subterfuge of experimenting.

I offer these quotes after much ado the world makes about Sex and how it is constantly interpreted in the Original Sin in the parable of the "The Book Genesis." This interpretation permeates our culture. I seek here not to get into possible and inevitable misinterpretations of this parable; I prefer to leave one with a tease and I usually do my best to leave humor to the professionals so here you go;

"There is hardly anyone whose sexual life, if it were broadcast, would not fill the world at large with surprise and horror."

W. Somerset Maugham (1874-1965)

"Of all the sexual aberrations, perhaps the most peculiar is chastity."

Remy de Gourmont (1858-1915)

"We may eventually come to realize that chastity is no more a virtue than malnutrition."

Alex Comfort

"I used to be a virgin, but I gave it up because there was no money in it."

Marsha Warfield

"A terrible thing happened last night…nothing."

Phyllis Diller

"Whenever I am caught between two evils, I take the one I've never tried."

Mae West (1892-1980)

"It is better to copulate than never."

Robert Heinlein

"I am too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I don't know. "

Garry Shandling

"If sex is so personal, why do we have to share it with someone?"

Unknown

"The only reason I feel guilty after masturbation is that I do it so badly."

David Steinberg

Man: An animal [whose]…chief occupation is extermination of other animals and his own species, which, however, multiplies with such insistent rapidity as to infest the whole habitable earth and Canada."

Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914)

Woman: An animal…having a rudimentary susceptibility to domestication…The species is most widely distributed of all beasts of prey…The woman is omnivorous and can be taught not to talk."

Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914)

"He who laughs, lasts."

Mary Pettibone Poole (c.1938)

Surrender to My Beloved…

Surrender to the Fall has taught me over time of surrender to my partner My Beloved; Existence, X, God, The Divine, The Lover, The Eternal Presence, Who is Omniscient, Omnipresent, Omnipotent; and is known by many, many other names. This partner is a Love more deep then can be expressed in word.

Surrender of either has a sense of falling yet both bring fear into play yet surrender to the Beloved throughout the Great Work brings, gifts beyond Belief;

The Gardeners Invite to Surrender

The Fall

It burns deep,

It burns deep this being,

And chides you to breath into material deception, the myriad of sleep,

For it is dire not to be so.

Alone as we once were; we would be without, and here there be gifts aplenty,

Yet never are they what we think they are;

Attired in restless sleep,

We dream,

Consumed in journey's

Tone.

Believe what you will,

Be will your compass,

One canst demand to see,

One canst demand to be.

Yet we are,

Illusive to ourselves of being;

Yet

It shines,

It shines bright

The Gardeners Invite to Surrender

The Gate

In Blissful Reunion there is no bite, liquid joy, fluid desire to know,

Through this joyous senses alive,

not a whiff of guilt or shame.

Pure feeling no emotion be near, not to be striven for nor against;

And Gratitude brings us Home

A secret garden of delight beyond all measure,

And only to the threshold have I tread!

Yours always...

Continued from September 5, 2008...

I was in no position at this time to look directly at this predominant phenomenon of Fear Based Film, washing fluidly and showering off the people I met. Truly I had no context in which to place this.

It turns out that time was my alley. For it was time to Fall into this myself, surrender all sense of being in the Work; for a time.

(Artwork is copyright © 1995 by Sandra Tabatha Cicero)

This fall is/was wondrous, creating emotions outside of my scope of comprehension. I was compelled to drink and eat of this silted sensuous supper.

How does one get to Know Thyself within this sphere of experience?

This asking of existence is encapsulated in this statement;

“You are not a human being in search of a spiritual experience. You are a spiritual being immersed in a human experience.”

"Teilhard de Chardin"

This Fall then is an act of being that is required to become. It is in essence an initiation. No amount of preparation in childhood or prior to existing could have vetoed this process. So off I went into the same conditions as everyone else which begins with Fear!!!

Fear producing a family of desires… sometimes called the Seven Deadly Sins.

Continued tomorrow…

continued from...September 4, 2008

I was told rather to seek out and learn while here and to take this life on as the adventure it is. I was told this by other physical beings, though I have heard this also as a call in my heart.

The approach of informing me of these concepts by these physical beings was not given using an indoctrinating format it was as more in a revealing fashion. This approach was sometimes as direct concepts and at other times in an ambiguous way. Either approach would be instituted at a time that would cause one to stop and think about what was going on.

I was given few clues on how to conduct myself here rather I was given tools on how to learn through given situations. How to do this; I was told would be up to me to determine and learn about.

Additionally my first years were a refuge of peace of being. It was an experience of being at one with existence in the forests near my home. This period aloud for the development of abilities that seemed to arise completely naturally. These skills which developed were not so obvious to me, until I had time with the general public. I was not even aware of their occurrence as being obscure in any way until spending much time with other people. Also they were not something I would speak about they just were, as effortless as breathing.

I had little interaction with the people of the surrounding culture, and when I finally did it was quite a shock. This shock created perhaps through the lack of socialization and made it apparent that I needed to learn more about what was going on around me.

For instance it was apparent by observation; through the skills that had been developed, that most people had distorted energetic fields. I was unsure of what to make of these distortions but they brought with them an intense Wash of Fear. I could not understand what was going on;

Why these people; children and adults were not relating to this occurrence?

Why did people have distorted energetic fields even at the earliest of age?

Why were they totally unaware of this distortion?

What could be the cause of this distortion?

Was this a distortion or was it the natural condition of these individuals?

The questions were many yet it was simple to see within each being that there was something more. One could see that each were shinning beings within a shell of material, waiting patiently to awaken and ascend.

Silence (Delirium)

Give me release
witness me
I am outside
give me peace

Heaven holds a sense of wonder
and I wanted to believe
that I'd get caught up
when the rage in me subsides

In this white wave
I am sinking
in this silence
in this white wave
in this silence
I believe

Passion chokes the flower
'til she cries no more
possessing all the beauty
hungry still for more

Heaven holds a sense of wonder...

I can't help this longing
comfort me
I can't hold it all in
if you won't let me

Heaven holds a sense of wonder...

In this white wave
I am sinking
in this silence
in this white wave
in this silence
I believe

I have seen you
in this white wave
you are silent
you are breathing
in this white wave
I am free

By; Sarah Mc Lachlan

Continued in tomorrows addition of...
Silver Star

I ask that the journey be the beginning and end as one, ever present deep within the silence.

This is then the beginning and the end, all is transparent.

Yet here I wish to ask a few questions regarding physics, relationships, sex, rollercoaster’s, eternal life, life in general, the media, human development, corporate noise, the state of earths situation, further sexual constructs, of corporate structures, of meta-physics, of music, and can we define anything in actuality?

With this I have come here also to toy with some ideas, constructs, paradigms, dreams, and imaginings. I will do my best to make it clear as often as possible that;

“This is a story, all stories are a lie.”

I will do so through tightly woven subterfuge or by just plainly stating this as often as possible;

“This is a story, all stories are a lie”

Over the next while I shall be offering a story, it begins in the stars, as all stories do…

In the beginning...
Ba
Ka
Akh
The name
The Shadow

As a child I was informed that this physical body was a vessel. The vessel was a gift. The gift was a key and portal to awakening. This required much work and devotion to the task of knowing the nature of this vessel in relation to the true nature of the Self as intimately as possible.

I was informed that this idea would not be common in the culture of the general populace I lived in, and not to if at all possible succumb to the ideas and habits of this culture.

Continued in tomorrows edition of

Silver Star